This has been one of the most heartbreaking, yet profound weeks in my life. Why is it that we learn the most about ourselves when we least expect it? At any rate, here is a (not-so) brief summary of last week's activities.
- 11/14: Hanging out with Travis and Kara before I head off to San Antonio, trying to get in time with everyone I care about. We start at Pappadeaux. Travis has known one of the bartenders for years, so much so that he makes us frozen drinks that have not been available on the menu for some time.
Now before you ask what color skirt I was wearing for ordering a frozen drink, allow me to describe this concoction. Its name is the Category 5, and there is a reason it was named after the type of hurricane that destroyed New Orleans. This drink provides the same level of destruction on your liver. The ingredients include Bacardi O, Bacardi Razz, Bacardi Limon, frozen margarita, and frozen hurricane. Combine those with a bartender that may or may not have forgotten to count the amount of liquor he poured with the frozen parts, and your body might as well be called Osama, as Seal Team 6 is on its way. Two of these later, and the headshot is coming sooner than anticipated. Oh, and I met the senior litigator for the law firm behind ijustgothit.com. Can't make this stuff up.
We leave Pappadeaux, and decide to visit Daryan at a Vietnamese restaurant in downtown Plano, who is a wizard behind the bar. The seesaw between shots and drinks is quickly teetering to shot's favor. The restaurant is known for creating the best tequila shot ever, called the Dragon shot. This shot is taken in three steps. First, and arguably the most important step, a piece of xi muoi is provided. You put it in your mouth [ed. note: heh], allowing the salt to coat your palate while you chew and swallow it. Second, you shoot the tequila. Lastly, you are provided with a lime coated in the same salt as the xi muoi, and immediately after shooting the tequila, you bite the lime, getting the juice out of it. This process takes all the bite out of the tequila, while ruining all tequila after forever.
After a couple of Dragon shots (maybe?), we decide to see what's going on with the rest of downtown Plano. Not a whole lot has changed since my last visit, as the mass of people we encountered can be best described as a mixture of smelly hipster and pretend douche. Our group quickly heads back to to where we started in Plano, as my chief rule while drinking anywhere in the Metroplex is I don't wait for a drink. All the other bars were PACKED. Daryan makes us an amazing shot consisting of 360 Double Chocolate vodka and Tang. Yes, you read that correctly: Tang. It tastes exactly like an orange tootsie roll, except the probability that you contract cirrhosis goes up.
I part ways with Kara and Travis, and head to my favorite Vietnamese restaurant in Dallas via Uber. Do yourself a favor and sign up for Uber. Right now. Go ahead, I'll wait.
By this time, words were hard, thinking was hard, signing my tab was hard, and leaving the restaurant was hard. Why was leaving the restaurant hard? I was awoken by the lunch opener at 10 AM. Yep, I slept on the couch in the restaurant at which I am employed. This is how you know you have an amazing boss. The best part is I did not even go home immediately; I waited an hour for the kitchen to open so I could enjoy the amazing hangover remedy that is beef pho. Of course I'm scheduled later that day, and after a crucial nap, I talk to our assistant GM, and all he says is this: "[Laughing] Yeah man, you were wasted, so we let you sleep on the couch, didn't set the alarm, and turned the cameras off in case something happened to you, so we wouldn't be liable." That's how you know you are loved.
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